T is VERY VERY non-directive, but he told me yesterday that he really wanted to be directive right now. He wants me to take care of the cat first, because there is so much going on, and the cat is such an underlying source of sadness and stress right now. So. I have an appointment at 9:30 with the vet to see what she says. Maybe she will say "oh, this cat is old, for sure, but he's not as bad off as he seems". Or maybe she will say he's in pain and unhappy and it's time to let him go .

I'm scared. I've had him for 18 years. I love him.