@Perna:
Haha, well, I don't intend to do any toad-kissing. But you're right, I absolutely need to get out there again, but it's just incredibly difficult, as I don't feel motivated to. Plus, I don't have any opportunity to until I return to university. At the same time, though, I just wish I could improve somehow and win her back.

@kundi:
Yes, you're right. I thought I was making small amends; I deleted her off Facebook because I couldn't bare to see her online and not have any reason to talk to her; I realise now that I was simply masking the problem, not dealing with it, and it probably looked incredibly petty to her.

You're also right about the mindset. As you say, getting out of it is the problem, but I don't know how to. I'd love to be able to forget about it - like I forgot about my previous relationships - but for some reason, she is the exception, and it's infuriating.