see, i don't lie, but i don't share things/bring up topics sometimes that maybe i should.

for example, there are issues x and y that i have never brought up with my T. ever in our 2+ years together. i know these are big psych issues that i need to work on, but (1) i'm ashamed, (2) i don't want to talk about it with T and (3) i kinda feel like i can solve it on my own. that last reason is particularly foolish, as i have yet to solve these problems. and sometimes i convince myself that these are not actually problems.

also, my T has a good opinion of me--he likes me as a person and admires my career choices--and i don't want him... to think less of me.

maybe i don't want to see the disappointment i feel for myself and my actions... i don't want to see that disappointment or concern or worry expressed on his face.

maybe i am wasting money, not doing all i can, etc. but sometimes it's enough that i am going consistently to talk with someone about my experiences in this crazy world. maybe?