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I personally think that the real work of therapy is taking control of and assuming responsibility for your own life. That is the ultimate freedom.
But it takes a lot of work to get there. There has to be a shift from the cognitive "knowing" that a change is needed, to a in the bones "feeling" that such change can occur and you are ultimately the catalyst of it.
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This is the hard realization I have come to - I can't wish for my T to fix things for me, I have to do the work myself. It's the acceptance piece that I am still kinda stuck!
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Whenever we have talked about some scary/emotional/hard things (like past abuse), and whenever we have something going on and we allow ourselves to have feelings about it (instead of numbing out)...
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This is helpful, too.
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I had asked T at end of session, "But what can I DO? (meaning in between sessions) She said that day to day life is the workshop. What happens in life is what we'll bring into session. Notice when we get emotional. Notice our emotions - don't stuff them. Be aware. Things that challenge us the most in RL emotionally we should bring to our T's to discuss.
That's the work. It's not a concrete thing like studying a book and then taking a test. It is a complete shift from our normal view of looking outwards and instead looking inwards. It can be very illusive but the more we're attentive to ourselves the more we can bring stuff to session. At least that's been my experience.
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Ugh! This is so hard though! I want to be able to do more than just LIVE between sessions! I get it, though, I suppose.
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admitting and accepting and moving forward....I don't know if "work" is the right word for it because it implies a task that can be finished. I don't know if I can.
For me a lot of my hard work has been around coping with every day life.
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This makes a lot of sense to me.