dear t, i cancelled my appt for tomorrow night. i needed to help my son with his rent. i do get paid again friday. i wish i had the guts to ask if i can wait on the payment till then and still come in, but too afraid to hear the word "no". i don't want to think this is about money. even though i know part of it is, needs to be.

i am also scared. i bawled my eyes out last time for the first time and even though you were really great about it. i don't know what you would say about it this time. did you even realize i cancelled? does your wife even tell you? i hate that your wife is your receptionist. i feel like now nothing i say is confidential and that after i leave you both just sit there and have a good laugh because i am so crazy and damaged... and it hurts that you would be laughing at my expense.