Trigger warning!
So I started SIing a few months ago after a looonnnnggg break from it, and lately it was getting worse and worse(as in more often and deeper cuts). I finally told my T about it 2 weeks ago, and she has been helpful dealing with it(did not freak out at all like I thought she would). A couple days ago, in a hopeful mood, I threw out my blades...and told T that today, which of course she was really happy and proud about. But I feel so weak again now. I want to do it. I NEED to do it. I just want to drive to the store and buy some more and just cut and release. I don't know how to NOT do it. It is becoming addicting. Those that are recovering, or have stopped, how did you stop these obsessive thoughts??? What did you do when you just NEEDED to do it, to see the blood, etc??
And FTR, none of the hand in ice, rubberband tricks, etc work. I can't find anything that seems to work.
EEEK.