Thanks.

I truly am NOT at the level of a person of my age, though. See:

-I have no friends. Haven't had any for years. I only go out when required to, nothing "fun" or "social."
-I've never dated or anything. I've never been involved with anyone romantically/sexually.
-I don't have a drivers license.
-I only have a high school education. Haven't finished college and am NOWHERE near finishing. I practically am JUST starting out.
-I have no job experience. I have worked at three fast food jobs (at age 15, 17 and 18). The first job I only lasted a month. Second, a week. Third, about a month and a half. The second one wasn't really my fault, but the others I lost because of my social phobia. I was asked to leave at my first one because I was always acting like I "didn't want to be here" (which frankly, I didn't). The last one I quit because I couldn't take it anymore.

Then there's other random little things I see I should've known and done earlier...

And you know, everyone I've met online so far is up to date with most or all of these things^. They've either accomplished them in the past or they're accomplishing them right now. Seems like I can never find anyone that is at my level.

Ugh, I am SO immature and it's all thanks to my silly social phobia and low self-esteem...

The reason why I haven't been to therapy is because my parents never allowed it (still live with them, by the way). They've sort of changed their minds, but NOW the problem is they can't and don't want to pay for it. I would definitely pay for it, but I am too afraid to get a job. And the only places that will hire me (because of my lack of experience) are fast food places and I HATE those places. That's why I didn't last at those other jobs. I simply can't function in places like that. I'm sure I'd end up making a fool of myself and losing the job AGAIN.
Do you see how ridiculous it is? I need a job to get help, but the reason why I need help is also the reason why I don't have a job. I just wish I weren't this way, "scared of people", like everyone says. Because, see, I NEED help with my appearance, but I need a job for that too.

And I'm not saying I wish to be like everyone else. I don't wish to be "perfect". I don't wish to live up to anyone else's standards, just mine.

I said I didn't want to post this here because it is of no use to me. I no longer need to be online whining about crap, I need to go out and actually get help but I can't.

Ugh, I shouldn't have started this topic.