Hello, I'm new here so I guess the first thing I should do is introduce myself. I'm a 19 year old college student, I have been SI since high school, I had quit for a while my first year of college, I figured I'd try starting fresh but soon it started coming back. pressure from school and family and friends began to build. I had everyone telling me I was stupid that I had ruined their day/ life and how could they stand being around me. I began to get frustrated and I just hurt so bad, cutting just eased the pain it seemed, I feel like I deserve it when I do it, and it feels like im releasing that tension inside. I looked at what I had done yesterday and I couldn't believe how bad it really was. I know it hurts more than just me and it's getting harder to hide the wounds, I can't think about what everyone would say if they found out, my parents would freak out, whenever the subject comes up they just start in about how they don't know how anyone can do that and they must be pretty messed up to do that. It makes me feel worse like I'm something horrible. People here seem really nice so I thought I'd give joining up here a go.