<font color="purple">Thank you KD... I havent journalled in weeks, I know I should though. I know it will be hard but will feel good to get it out too.... I was going to say I dont know why I stopped but I do..... Ignoring = it will go away.... Yes I know that isnt true but I want to be and so I fool myself into thinking its true........dang these connections!! When Husband is home I am good, usually dont have rough emotions and thoughts when he is hoem, he is my safe person.... but I have family close by and so when or if it gets too hard or sacery I ahve them to call on which is a comfort. Keeping busy.... I need a startdegy for any furture unexpecteds... </font>