Quote:
Originally Posted by elliemay
I was just going to add what Kacey said. Here irritation may have been something going on with her. Therapists are human and subject to feelings too.
She may also have felt offended that you had your music on, even for a little bit, during the session. Your actions did not suggest that you were seeking connection, rather to me, they would suggest exactly the opposite.
When I see someone on the subway with headphones on, it emits "stay away", not come talk to me.
Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel is someone scheduled a meeting with you and then sitting with headphones on?
I really do think some communication is in order here where you both exchange your thoughts.
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I think what she could have done is to ask me what was going on? Why didn't she say, "Skysblue, I've never seen you like this before? What is going on? What are you feeling? Why are you bringing your music in?" Isn't that what inquiry is about?
But, I just now realized something. There was another thing that happened during that session and I hadn't remembered until now that both these events were during the same session.
You see, right after I stopped the music, I 'forgot' about what happened. Actually, it hadn't even registered in my mind at that time. I am great at delayed response.
So, we went on with the session and I thought things had gone quite well. But a few hours later I kept having the nagging feeling that things were not right. That feeling kept pestering me until it dawned on me that my T 'wasn't there'. And then it triggered a strong feeling that she wanted to terminate me. Now, I wasn't even thinking of the music thing at that time.
So, I called and left a message then and 'accused' her of not being there. The next session she admitted that that was true. She had checked out.
Now, isn't this curious that I'm just now remembering that her annoyance with me and her 'checking out' happened during the same session?
Oh man, are we ever going to have an 'exciting' session today. I am beside myself with nervousness but we have to discuss this.