OK I think I put the correct icon on this for triggers? Not sure, but depending where this conversation goes yeah it could trigger at some point. I haven't been on this board in awhile, I think I was on here in 2004 or something.

ANYWAY I was in the chat room once on this place and someone in there was talking to me and all I remember is that she (?) was telling me she sensed this "darkness" about me. I think she meant spiritually and I think she meant beyond what I was already aware of but I'm not sure. For some reason I feel compelled to post this here in case whoever she was sees it. I don't remember her name.

I was doing some internet surfing and I came across something that deeply disturbed me. What disturbed me was that it was a bunch of conspiracy-theory CRAP, I mean TOTAL HOOEY -- you can tell just by reading it that these people are insane and making half this ***** up. But at the same time, there were things in those documents that were totally accurate concerning things I've experienced in myself, describing exactly how my mind has worked in various situations and exactly how certain programs embedded in my mind have worked and they even called it programs too. It talked about deliberately creating a fragmented consciousness with alters & stuff and layering in demonic entities and programs so that the system would be unbreakable and a total complete mind-controlled slave would be created. It talked about suicide & sabotage programming which was exactly what I have encountered in my own attempts to get help and it described exactly how different programs are created with reference to God, Satan, etc. in the person. With this programming they can make sex slaves, assassins, spiritual Manchurian candidates & "trojans", everything ...

And the thing is ... it totally and perfectly described in those respects things I have been experiencing. But the rest of it was such total absolute bullsh*t that no one in their right mind would believe the thing. *I* don't even believe it, and it's questionable whether I'm in my right mind or not, LOL. So what am I supposed to do with this crazy stuff? On the one hand it explains things I've been experiencing in a way like nothing else, there is real understanding there that could help me get free of my programming. But on the other hand it is so ridiculous with the other stuff it says that I don't want to bring it up to someone or anything because I don't want them to start believing all the crazy stupid stuff in there that isn't real or else thinking I believe it or something. And I don't want to go to the people who wrote it or believe in it for help either because they would try to make me buy into their whole ball of wax and it's just too absolutely absurd -- I mean you can seriously tell while reading it when they are going "out there" into the twilight zone.

What would you do about something like this if it were you?

Like I said it's a bunch of "out there" conspiracy theory crap, totally implausible, and yet ... and yet ... somehow these weirdoes believing this crap have managed to uncover key, core, central aspects to the programming in my mind that Satan put there. So what do I do with all this????