Rainbow_rose,

First, lots of hugs for you!
I know that unsettled feeling; I feel it most of the time before my session, like today! Do you feel better after you get there? I feel panicky until my T says "hi" or if I still feel that way we do breathing/meditation and that calms me down.

I know you've been supportive to me in my threads, and I know you relate to the "feelings for T" stuff. You posted that your T doesn't want to hear more about your feelings for her and she redirects you. Is that okay with you? If you have feelings you need to get out, even if about her, I hope she will listen to you. Is that why you feel unsettled, or is it something else? You're still in the early stages of therapy so it's normal to be confused about your feelings for your T.

Therapy is hard, especially if you're not used to being so open with another person. I've had to struggle a long time to be comfortable enough to tell my T what I really feel.

Do you think ahead of time what you're going to talk about? Do you make a list? That doesn't work for everyone but it used to work for me, at least to have an idea of what I was going to say.

I'm just sort of rambling because I'm not sure what you need. I wish you a productive session tomorrow! Post more here if you want to.