Margaretrose,

I've kind of been where you're at. I lost a job over my involvement with a man I was crazy infatuated with. What that cost me financially was easily as much as you've been taken for. All I can say is that I do understand how extemely difficult it is to extricate yourself from this involvement. In my case, I imagined the man cared for me. Even though I knew I was being played, I believed he did care. He possibly did to some extent. I ended up finding out that he cared very little for my welfare. He was attracted to me and I was flattered by that. And I was obsessed. I was nutty infatuated with him. He had tremendous charisma. But he did not care about my welfare. He said he did, and I believe he believed that he did. But in the end, he didn't care.

Now it's over. I thought I would never get over him. But I DID! I hardly think of him anymore.

If you're like me, he will have to really hurt you in order for you to get out of this. And eventually HE WILL, as he already has. Nothing family, friends or my therapist said helped me. People told me the same thing that Protector is telling you above, which is the basic full truth of what is going on. I didn't listen.

You will eventually get out of this - when he sees you have nothing left to give him. Even though I did get out, my life will always be affected by what that relationship cost me. That's the real kicker. It's is not the kind of experience that you can someday say "Well I learned from my mistake, and so maybe it was good that it happened." You will never regain a lot of what you will lose to this man. That is a bitter pill to swallow, and I swallow it every day.