SoupDragon-

Trust was what my family doctor told me in the summer of 2008 or 09 that I did not have. She was perfectly correct.
I went home and was crushed by the implications of not trusting. A low of the lows. To make a long story short, my foster cat saved my life the next morning.

I went to bed thinking trust is and All or None and I had none. And with the pain of depression-dark thoughts. I went to bed really doubting the reason for my exsistance.

Well, I woke up to the sound of a purring cat across my chest. This cat that for the first year hissed at me, and was only starting to sleep on my bed (by my feet). So I open one eye, she does not move, I open both eyes, she does not move, I slide my hand out from the blankets, she does not move.

So now I wait, because it has to be on her terms when she moves so I can continue to earn her trust.

While I was waiting I got to thinking if an animal can learn to trust, and we are animals, we can also learn to trust. (We are supposed to be the smart ones). This feral foster cat gave me HOPE, and a starting point.
Eventually she had her fill of my attention, and I could finally get up and empty a very full bladder.

Now like the feral animals I have learned that people must earn my trust, and my best lessons in trust have come from Therapy.
And now a life long practice is ahead of me. I still try not to assume the worst, but at least now my intuition helps me start to trust or not. I control how much I trust and where I feel safe.

So yes it is in you to trust and it is by experience you will learn that skill.

You can also develop trust by being aware and practicing being trustworthy yourself, it goes a long ways to learning about trust.

I so hope this helps, as the realization that I did not trust was almost a disaster. I was not telling my family doctor the depth of my depression.

Update my foster cat is now happily in her forever home, where she has taken the trust of me and transferred it to another person.

Gently1