Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Margaretrose,
I've kind of been where you're at. I lost a job over my involvement with a man I was crazy infatuated with. What that cost me financially was easily as much as you've been taken for. All I can say is that I do understand how extemely difficult it is to extricate yourself from this involvement. In my case, I imagined the man cared for me. Even though I knew I was being played, I believed he did care. He possibly did to some extent. I ended up finding out that he cared very little for my welfare. He was attracted to me and I was flattered by that. And I was obsessed. I was nutty infatuated with him. He had tremendous charisma. But he did not care about my welfare. He said he did, and I believe he believed that he did. But in the end, he didn't care.
Now it's over. I thought I would never get over him. But I DID! I hardly think of him anymore.
If you're like me, he will have to really hurt you in order for you to get out of this. And eventually HE WILL, as he already has. Nothing family, friends or my therapist said helped me. People told me the same thing that Protector is telling you above, which is the basic full truth of what is going on. I didn't listen.
You will eventually get out of this - when he sees you have nothing left to give him. Even though I did get out, my life will always be affected by what that relationship cost me. That's the real kicker. It's is not the kind of experience that you can someday say "Well I learned from my mistake, and so maybe it was good that it happened." You will never regain a lot of what you will lose to this man. That is a bitter pill to swallow, and I swallow it every day.
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Rose, I can;t believe what you've said does sound like me and my situation. I can't imagine what that final straw will be that breaks me, I had a car accident because I was on the phone to him and nearly run someone over, and also got a speeding fine in a rush to meet up with him as I knew he didn;t have much time to meet up with me, if that isn't really bad I'm not sure what is. I also bought a car off him which I then was selling on and when I was taking the potential buyer for a test drive the car caught fire and if I and the buyer hadn;t got out in time we would have potentially been killed, the fire brigade had to be called to put the fire out that had engulfed the car, when I rang and couldnt get through to him I left a message he didnt get back to me until the next day as he had been out on a day trip with his daughter and really didnt even seemed bothered about the possibility of the horrendous scenario, my mum and sister on the other hand were devastated by the event and when they saw the burnt out car, could not believe I had been so stupid. So you can see I have had some horrendous situations but I still hang in there with him. The money to pay off my debts is coming from an insurance policy which matures in November but it still won;t cover the debt unfortunately.
you have absolutely hit the spot with me regarding not listening to family and when I did go to a couple of therapists (whi but didn;t resolve anything and I am still where I am).
I too like you although not lost my job, have put it in great jeopardy, if he asks me to do something for him, I sometime have told lies to my employer to get out of going to work , taking the day off, finding 101 excuses wherever I can.
I know in my head that this is unhealthy and I have to stop this but my heart wont let me. Margaret x