The DBT group that I go to, has a leader who definitely lets us know that we can change lots over time.....it's actually a physical thing that happens in the brain.

As we are growing up, our actions & thoughts create neuropathways in our mind which create the actions we do in response to things that happen in our life........but those neuropathways can be changed.....like learning a new language, or a new craft or anything we learn new. However, it takes practice & practice & repetition & more repetition in order to create the new neuropathway for the new/different behavior/reaction.

I love the leader of our group....she has a very huge Italian accent.......so we are always reminding her that yes, we can create those new neuropathways....but we will always hold onto some of our accent from the past. Meaning we can make the change, but there will always be little things from our past behavior that stick around especially under stress.

I was really fascinated by this fact because my husband constantly told me that his personality was what it was & that I just needed to tolerate it because personalities CAN'T BE CHANGED.....just found out that was nothing but more of his BS. He had his mind made up so definitely, but in reality it was because he WOULDN'T not that he COULDN'T.

Everything IS POSSIBLE....your T knows this which is why you will not be able to convince her that we don't change over time (if we want to).....now she needs to convince you of this fact...lol.