I swear to god, if ONE MORE PERSON from my family tells me to "cut the drama," I am going to travel to every single one of their homes and strangle them barehanded. It's funny how NOBODY ELSE I KNOW *EVER* calls me a drama queen, just my immediate family.

I have sent a couple of posts to them all over the last few days trying to explain exactly where things stand with me this day, mental- and physical health-wise. Mentally, I am depressed as all get-out. Physically, I am 8 weeks removed from 5 weeks in the hospital near death. Yet the jerks don't understand how they trigger me!

I *HATE* being misunderstood. One of my sisters told me I am depressed right now because I won't do what she wants me to do. Naturally, my depression has absolutely nothing to do with being chronically ill and having to spend one day a week in a cancer clinic, getting whatever treatment they think I need that week. Nor does it have anything to do with the fact that I spend all my time and energy tracking down and applying for every form of financial aid I can find, since they've all informed me they'll no longer help me with bills. I haven't worked since the first week of December, and so far I'm not getting unemployment, and SSDI has just started collecting my paperwork in order to make a decision.

Yet, when I try to tell them exactly how I feel, mentally and physically, and that it doesn't help me when they disregard those feelings, they tell me to cut the drama. All I am doing is trying to be understood!!!!! They have NEVER understood the extent of my mental illness, not even the one who works in the mental health field. And now they don't seem to understand how my physical health is impacting it. I don't know if they don't care, or they're too wrapped up in their OWN "drama," or whatever, but it pisses me off to be called a drama queen when I am merely trying to explain as best I can where my life is at right now.

Sky made me laugh last night in another post when she said she'd heard somebody say friends are God's way of apologizing for families, but I think she's right! I love my friends, and they've been terrific to me through this, but right now I think I would like to take out and shoot my entire damn family!

Why can't people UNDERSTAND?!

ARGH. What are YOUR "trigger words"?



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