I completely understand that but I didn't want to put words in your mouth. I would venture to guess that in a skewed, subconscious way, you want her to dislike you so that if/when the time comes to leave her, it will be much easier for you.

I tend to fall into the roll of flippant, smart *ss so that if I did get terminated, I can fall back on, "well, uh ... you didn't mean anything to me anyway." Sound familiar? In actuality, I desperately want to know what my therapist thinks about me, if she likes me, if she would be my friend if she wasn't my therapist. It sucks parading around in a d*mn mask and I wish I could just accept her help for what it is and leave it at that.