I don't know how old you are. But consider yourself lucky because you can feel and hurt and express your pain in a cathartic way. You can find the strength to stand up and demand... command better treatment from your loved ones. There are many people who cannot do this. They can't express their pain in healthy ways. They can only transfer that pain onto others through further abuse. When you are beating your head against a wall.... Sometimes you have to get away from the wall. But nurture what you have left.