Thanks My3sns again...

I am not sure- After words with all of this I guess I will write down my day here since i guess it goes along with it. I do not want to post another thread seeing few to no one would understand- I am not sure what even to say;
I woke up after ok sleep to a dog crying out side it sounded like- Not sure what was going on, but someone took the doggie away it sound like.
Then I spent the time up thinking too much, emotions every where and then bursting out with crying here and there. Some time crying when I said I was done with crying.

My BF called and he could hear I was upset even though I tried my best to put off like it was all ok- he and I talked about a half hour (he was at work so it was hard for us to talk but it still helped a little). It helped a little but I still felt down; I did not want to go out side to take my dog for a walk but was happy my dog was with me.

After dazing in the living room the dog and I went to the dark bed room with the hallway light on and laid around for about an hour. It made me a bit ok; At one point all I wanted to do was curl up and either cry myself to sleep or just go to a deep sleep... I eventually got up and said get over it (what ever it is)- I started to get ready and my BF called again to make sure things were ok and all; I was getting like panicked telling him I needed to get ready for work- It is hard to explain and I also got a little irritable out of now where due to feeling panic (this happens from time to time by the way it is always a surprise!); I apologies for myself after I felt my emotions rising i feel my heart pound and my mind get fuzzy and my BF said it was ok and finish up what I was doing and he would come eat with me. I was able to talk to my BF before coming to work which was nice- so much stuff going through my head and I do not know why. I mentioned the last few weeks I have noticed my moodiness and felt a little off with things- he seemed shocked about the last few weeks- I think he has forgotten- but that runs to another train of thought that I will get to at the bottom.

On my way to work I was dazed - It reminded me some what like being high on something but I do not do drugs any more- Sort of numb like, really out of it feeling, and something I can not quite explain.... I get to work and it is all surprising very quiet- and I am able to be cheerful with customers here.
Although when explaining to another dept. that they could not enter a room due to people where in it- they did not seem to understand- i got irritable with them but I don't think they even noticed...I say this due to they came back and talked with maps with me for about ten minutes.
Inside I am turning all over but some times outside people don't see it at all or a trace..

Some times i feel like I am in the twighlight zone ya know - or I feel like i must hide things well- or idk....

I think my BF just forgot for a moment about the last few weeks- he told me like 2 weeks ago I was an emotional thinker which then I told him I hate that label for I am not stupid- I think Logically as well. He re-worded it and explained he was not trying to be mean or others being mean by the "emotional thinker" but that it just meant that sometimes I let my emotions decided; and he agreed that yes a lot of times I am logical.

So what the hell does that make me- I read that little blurb about 10 common cognitive distortions & what to do about them


In the psychotherapy form; and I can do the top and I can do the bottom part of this article and it is hard to explain- It is like I can not control when to do them but I do both.

I am not sure about me sometimes; and I guess just writing down things today.

well wishes to all and sorry for the ramble.