Hi Julia,
with me it's almost the other way round. My son is on the asperger's spectrum, but very high functioning. For a lot of his childhood he believed in some of the hallucinations I described, partly because kids believe their Moms, but also because aspies are very literal in their interpretation of the world, and it never dawned on him that I might be hallucinating. Fortunately for us both I was married to a very kind and considerate man for much of his childhood, and he kept things on an even keel... while I was with him I was less symptomatic. After his death things went wrong fairly quickly for me, and at this point my son was able to put it together that my perceptions weren't trustworthy. Following his stepfather's example he was very gentle with me, and I began to realise that I needed help. My son is the one who's always there for me. The rest of the family know my diagnoses, and are sympathetic in different ways. My stepmother is completely pragmatic, and sees it as being no different from diabetes or high blood pressure. My brother is sympathetic, but a little unnerved, as our mother also suffered from a serious mental illness... I think he's concerned I'll be like her, though my illness hasn't progressed in the manner hers did. (I hallucinate more, and am less paranoid). So there are times when he keeps me at arm's length... perfectly understandable when you take into account how awful his childhood was, particularly towards the end of my mother's life. My father is in denial, really. He still asks when am I coming off the medication, and if I'll start losing weight soon. The thing is, all three of them love me, and that counts for a lot. You don't have to be perfect for your son to feel the safety your love accords him. You might not have the words, but you have the heart, and I know that you will find a way to cope with this. If you love someone you'll always find a way.

There is a very good book you could look up online called "Surviving Schizophrenia," and an even better one (more practical, and for families more than clinicians) called "I'm not sick, I don't need help" which will help you with communication strategies, ways of talking to your son that will take the burden of worry off both of you. I'd advise the second, since the communication skills mentioned in it are very helpful. I know that I couldn't have agreed with it before medication, but now that I'm reasonably stable I am able to understand and take more in about my condition. Here's hoping that your son will soon be stable, and I really do hope that you can forgive yourself for not being perfect, and be happy in the knowlege that your love will go a long way toward healing.