I made a HUGE mistake...my life is one huge mistake

I gained 50 lbs within 9 months on abilify and celexa

I was soooo depressed about the weight that I though I would just come off of it....and my doctor was against it

so I weaned off them slowly and have been without them one month

I was ok, but now I have spiraled down with anxiety and depression again...obsessive thoughts about aging and death and self-loathing

but my life is such a chaotic mess and so impossible to fix

I now have so much anxiety too much to do the smallest things


i feel no joy ...

I feel impending doom...

I just took the abilify again today but I don't want to gain the weight back

but I don't want these horrible thoughts..