It sounds like it does give you some affirmation to know that you are not the first person to be where you are at. You won't be the last, either. Furthermore, I believe this kind of thing often happens to the nicest, least deserving victims. Part of what drew my predator's interest to me was that he saw me as a nice person. Predators avoid going after each other. It's too likely to end up in both being harmed. Just like in the animal world.

Here's one thing I did, which helped me a little. I did tell my significant other, a man with whom I was living. We weren't married, but had a longstanding relationship. After 27 years we are still together. Not that it's a good rationale, but I was not getting my needs met in my legitimate relationship. But that's going off the point I want to make. What happened is that my boyfriend was surprisingly understanding. He even said to me, "I think you're in love." He knew me very, very well. In fact, he had been somewhat of a user, himself. (He has matured into a decent man and I am happy with him, now.) But when he said to me that he suspected I was in love, it showed he understood how STUCK I was. He knew, from our past together, that my emotions can drive me to make huge sacrifices and risk a lot.

It truly is the same as an ADDICTION. After telling my boyfriend, I was able to come up with a plan to reduce some of the damage. I did decide to quit my job, which was a good move. Had I not, things would eventually have been found out, and I would have left my job in disgrace. So, thank goodness, I saved myself from that. I still sent him money, but not huge amounts. At the job they did later find out and that badly affected my career. That's where the financial cost really came to me.

Maybe . . . maybe . . . if your husband does love you . . . regardless of how he may have let you down in ways that might have driven you to this bad relationship . . . maybe you might consider telling him how much of a jam you are in emotionally. My boyfriend ended up feeling sorry for me and wanting to help me. So, at least I had some emotional support. If a man loves you, it can be amazing what he'll forgive. Then, again, I had forgiven a lot that my boyfriend had done.

It's just a thought. It might not be right for you. I was so glad after I told my boyfriend.

The thing that tends to end these bad relationships is when the creep tells you that he has stronger feelings for someone else, and so he needs you to leave him alone. (Of course, he'll wait till he's got a bigger sucker lined up to bleed. Then he'll have less time for you.)

The last thing I want to tell you is this. If you dump this relationship, you will miss him terribly for quite a while. Then one day you'll realize you no longer give a dang about him, and you'll wonder why you ever did. There is no logic to it, but that's what happens. After maybe a year, you"ll see how effectively time can take away the addiction.