You say, "none of my problems will keep me from accomplishing what I want in life".

You need to print that out and put it on your mirror or someplace where you can see that every day. Maybe even write yourself a song about that. You can use the guitar for that, I wrote a lot of things fooling around with my guitar.

I loved music too. And I loved to sing and even fancied myself a kind of star when I was young. But that is common for many growing up.

I ended up taking voice lessons by a woman who was married to a songwriter and producer of musicals. This woman was working on my voice when her husband had a disagreement with her. He could hear me singing from another room so I guess he heard it differently. He wanted to make sure that his wife didn't try to change my "haunting quality" he called it. So in other words he could see I had a unique style and he liked it.

A local band came and asked the teacher if she had anyone that might fit into a female lead singer role. So the next thing I knew I was trying out for this band. And they liked me and we began to work on a repitoire of songs to take on the road. And I was a bit nervous at first but after a bit I began to feel comfortable on the stage. And I even began to experiment with what they now call rifting and I added my own style to all the songs I sang.

There was a lot involved in that life that I was not prepared for. The night life lent to creepy experiences that I didn't have the life skills to deal with.
I was singing in a very upscale dinner club and was approached by a producer who I was somehow supposed to recognize but didn't. Any way he offered to send me to Berkley School of music and back my future career. I had to go back and sing another set and he told me to think about it. And I did just that. And I thought about all the obstacles I had already experienced, being followed and attacked on stage and by my agent and other things. I then decided that I didn't want that kind of life and I never went back to that mans table. And I don't regret that but I did get to visit Berkley on my own and I loved it. I really wanted to go there but my father would not agree to send me there. And it did break my heart.

But I always used my art and my music in my life. I did try that life style and I had made a decision for myself. But the important thing was, I did try it. I did enjoy performing and the experience, I just didn't feel I had the abilty to handle what else that life style entailed especially on the higher levels.

Often we can have dreams of being something and some times people feel like they have failed if they don't get that specific dream. But that doesn't have to be the case. So having that plan B and C is helpful.
BUT YOU ARE NEVER REALLY GOING TO KNOW UNLESS YOU TRY IT.
No matter what you reach for in your life, it is always going to be "scary".

Oh and by the way, my most important fan in all of my past was my little daughter that enjoyed that haunting voice that sang to her at night from the moment she arrived. Children love having music in the home.

Open Eyes