Oh, hon...I'm sorry to hear that you've crashed so hard. Do be wary about the psychosis, as it can certainly follow into the depression. That's when I usually get my hallucinations and some paranoia, during the depressions. I get delusional during manias.

Can you return the TVs at least? I hope some of it can go back.

I know you can't use antidepressants....have you ever tried ECT? Or maybe you could be a candidate for vagus nerve stimulation? It's an implant and usually an outpatient procedure and has had some good reviews in treating depression. I have a bipolar friend who has one and it seems to be helping her. It won't do anything for the mania as far as I'm aware, but maybe it could resolve the depression and stop the cycling in its tracks.

Above all, stay safe. If you need to go into the hospital, please go. Your kids need you to be there for them in the long term and it may require a little bit of time away now. I'm sorry you've had to watch your father struggle. We have so many more options now than our parents had (my mother suffered from psychotic depression). It doesn't make it any easier, but there is more hope for us. You are already a step ahead by making healthier choices than he did. One healthy choice right now would be calling your pdoc. Hang in there.