Hi, I hope I am doing this right. Right now, I'm ManicManda. I feel that fits. But really, lately I am more despondent than anything. I began seeing a Th recently and he gave me a book to read on Manic Depression...I'm guessing that was his way of suggesting what he thinks I have. I've always thought I had some depression and some major ADD; however, I did look at the results of my ADD test at the Th office, and it said I have no attention deficit whatsoever. Of course, I am just good at taking tests, who knows? I have yet to talk to him again and get his opinions. All I know is that I have been up and down my entire life. I have abused drugs for years. I have an addictive personality. I can be a heck of a lot of fun. And when no one but my poor husband or mother is looking, I can be a complete emotional wreck. I hope to get through this. I've been on Prozac for years and have gone on and off of ADD meds (I don't like them). I've been instructed now to quit drinking and smoking pot, and I don't want to but I am, and it has left me very, very unsettled. I should be in bed right now, but I am not. I should be grading papers or making a test for my class I teach Monday, but I don't want to. I should be finishing a million abandoned projects, but I don't want to do that either. I would, however, love a good party.