Hey Everyone,

Ok so here's my question. I love my boyfriend and I know he loves me a lot... I need some perspective from a guy's point of view. The bf is a newly hired commercial pilot so we're adjusting to his new schedule which right now is 3 evenings a week that we get to spend together; then reserves 2.5 hours away the rest of the time. His schedule has always been really busy, but he's always made as much time for me as he could. Also some background info on him, he's never been in a relationship longer than 6 months before me... they ranged 3-6 months and I'm gf number 6... he's always been really independent and just never found anyone that was what he wanted. We've been together for about 15 months; he's 28 and I'm almost 27.

Ok so here it is... we've been arguing a decent amount lately and it's just really draining. The night before last he came over and made dinner, I was getting full and was going to stop eating and he's sitting next to me and pokes my stomach... I was full anyway so I put my plate down. He just stopped himself and got so upset and didn't understand why he did it and that it was so messed up. Um, I wasn't offended, I was full and am fairly thin. That whole thing turned into a mess of him saying that he doesn't even feel like a man because he doesn't make that much money, he's not where he wants to be in life, that he isn't giving anything in his life 100%. He goes into saying that I deserve so much better than that and he feels bad because he can't give me the time "I deserve" and he knows I could find someone better. I'm totally at a loss! After going on and on about this, I thought he was looking for an out. He kept saying stuff like I'm an "angel" and asking why God brought him to me... but he's not religious so I was really... I don't even know a phrase for it (but I don't take compliments well). So the next thing I get is that I am the "perfect girlfriend" (I promise, I'm not vain at all... this is just what he said; I'm by no means close to perfect, I just try hard to make him happy) and that I'm everything he's always wanted in a significant other, but he just wishes he could fold me up into his pocket and take me out when he's ready for that big commitment... um... wtf?? So then I get the statement that our relationship is toxic lately because we keep arguing and logically we should probably break up, but with feelings... he just can't. He doesn't want me to leave, he wants to be with me. But I don't know... I just took it as asking for an out, so I said he should go, he starts crying, refuses, and now I'm just flippin confused!!!

I'm mean we got over it and both are really happy and he tells me today that he has "confidence and commitment issues... and has to deal with his issues like an adult"... wtf does that mean? He doesn't seem to want to leave me, but why is he such a commitment-phobe and does dealing with it "like an adult" mean he's going to get over it and try to commit, or leave??

PLEASE HELP... I'M SO CONFUSED!!!