my step father was my abuser fo over 10 years, he died the other week, the day before my 40th birthday, i felt nothing at first, then guilty for enjoying my birthday, p'd off for my family not telling me the date of the funeral, i had a few days of being really over sensitive before taking stock and feeling 'ok he's gone, now i know my brother and sisters kids are safe, I can relax at last' I am not sad i did not go to his funeral, his death has not made much of a difference to me as i had not been part of the family for years, my life goes on just as it did before.
bad feelings you may be having are there as a result of their actions, not your fault, be kind to yourself x