Today sucks. I can never do ANYTHING right. I am just living here until I go to rehab on tuesday and even that is too fking far away!!!!

I left my laptop on the couch and it got hot and stepdad went off at me for that. Do it again the computer will go in the bin. First time I've left my laptop anywhere anyone could ever SEE IT.

My mum is the worst. She was doing dinner and I needed a shower so asked if it was an ok time to shower, as they have stupid restrictions and shut the bathroom door when they go to bed, so we only have the spare loo in the laundry.

She mutters something that sounds alright and I go shower. Husband comes into bathroom to groom himself and ends up showering after me. I'm out of shower and can hear mother in kitchen *****ing about getting no help from anyone as we are showering (well fking SORRY) and that we'll use up all her hot water for the MORNING shower (she can put the switch on to make sure there is water) and general *****ing to dad.

By the time I am dressed and out there, she is dishing dinner. And bytching all the way, really childish BS out of character, and ends up throwing **** all around the kitchen. Not bad, but dishes into sink and violent dishing up.

I am sick, and have been sick for fking ages and just feel delicate. I can't deal with all this. I can't deal with this tomorrow, and all weekend. But it's my last chance to see my little girl before I go into rehab for god knows how long.

I appreciate her for having my husband move in, and me stay while I am HOMELESS between places waiting for rehab. I appreciate what she does. I appreciate that she does it when I cannot.

I just can't take her feeling badly towards me right now. And that's who this bytching is directed at. Me. It's all my fking fault.

I am so delicate. I feel like the slightest breeze will tip me over the edge.