it sounds like you are having what they call "rapid cycling" with your moods. i'm so glad you're really considering seeing a pdoc. it can be a start for a life full of joy rather than the suffering you experience now. keep considering it...  don't lose your momentum to get help. some of us have to seek outside help to improve. worse case scenario- if you don't want the help they offer you can move on to hopefully another solution. personally tho i think you're on the right track...pdoc.
here's a site you may want to explore-
http://bipolar.about.com/cs/faqs/f/faq_rapidcycle.htm
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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