Wow they are thought provoking questions.

I have never sought medical treatment for my symptoms, so therefore do not have a label as such. However I do think my symptoms may well indicate depression.

I have had periods of feeling really down for most of my life, but looking back have managed this with making some big changes to my life, jobs and houses. Such big changes have given me something more exciting to focus on - a buzz - and the darkness has lifted. Also more abusive strategies.

I started T last year as I had never been so low and needed help - I think significant here was the fact that my marriage had broken up and in the past my ex had been fairly good at supporting me through my low points. I have learned much about myself in T, a recognition of my all or nothing behaviour and thinking which can be so characteristic of depression - for me this includes eating, drinking, sleeping, work, study, love, trust, even sunbathing!....

I think without this self awareness I would probably continue to go through life on this rollercoaster with depression rearing its head from time to time. But I am hoping the work I am doing will help me to manage myself better and keep myself more balanced and avoid the ups and downs. This includes dealing with trauma stuff, learning about my needs and how to meet them, what things I need to avoid (noise is a particular difficulty for me to handle) and I am learning mindfulness as a long term strategy to manage my "mind".

So for me I am optimistic that I will not be depressed forever, however in order to achieve this I need to work hard myself and not leave it to hope, or finger crossing.

In summary, I think I will always be prone to depression, in the same way other people may be prone to different health problems (for example back pain) - however I will not always feel depressed as long as I look after myself. I have started to get times when I feel happy, although that was absent for a few years.

Good luck - SD