Dragonfly, thanks
I can return some of it, I got my boyfriend to help me figure it out, thank god.

Vagus stimulation implant, I looked it up , sounds really interesting. Who know what the future might hold. My immediate thoughts were "implant, oh dear, what if I got delusions about the implants and wanted to get them out", I am always worried because as I age I seem to only get worse, this could be an future option.

Zbmom,
Thanks for that, I am lactose intolerant I do eat a bit of goat cheese here and there, I really should be be taking a D supplement. As far as meat goes, I eat some, but not much, I was vegetarian for years and I added some meat back due to my health but I do not like eating it, fish isn't too bad tho, I can get it down with out gagging on it at least.

Phoenix,
Thanks for all the ideas! I was taking fish oil a few months ago and I ran out, intended to go get more. Now that you reminded me I am going to go get some today. I felt good when I was taking it. I was taking it mostly for my skin, eczema, and break outs caused by lithium. Man it did wonders for my skin amongst other things. I was taking it in oil form form the health food store, not pill form. My kids take a kids version, it helps them focus at school.

I also did an intensive addition of intestinal flora, as i have many many stomach issues. Which from what I read should be good for your overall health. I take a B complex vitamin, and a good multi-vitamin as well. I havn't noticed any difference with the B's, I've been taking them for years in hopes they would help my mood.

The protein is called Beneprotein, my dietician gave it to me, for diabetics I believe. I put in a little bit of hot cereal or some almond milk. It's not that yummy tho, this kind. I think she gave me this one because it is low in calories, where many of the others have enough calories to put me off. I get all my vitamins at the health food store because I think the quality maybe better, or I am a sucker. And because you can get many of them in plant based capsules instead of animal based capsules which is easier on the tummy.

So I better get that fish oil again, and maybe I should add a D and calcium, my dietician was quite concerned about my calcium stores. And a C vitamin as well, because I had joked to her about my fruit aversion, how the one piece of fruit I eat twice a year to hopefully ward of scurvy, and her reaction was, "that is not enough you can still get scurvy!!" yikes.

I am supposed to be drinking boost calories plus, however the calories freak me out, not to mention the price.
Thanks for your help and support everyone, I truly truly truly want to get better. And it means a lot to me that you are here supporting me.

I had an awful sleep as I have a bad cough, and I wound have having some very very unpleasant night terror. doesn't happen often now that I'm an adult, but every once in a while. However I feel a little better today, and the sun is actually out, it's been raining everyday for almost the entire summer (not typical for here at all).

It was my sons birthday yesterday, so I took them to a movie in the afternoon, and tried to keep my spirits up for him and then my boyfriend took us all out for dinner. I think that helped for now, having some nice quality time with my family. hoping today will be better.

Also I was able to delay his party for a week or so as his cousins are all out of town. That helps, to not have to worry about all the organizing right at the moment.