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ovidblue said:
Im absolutely convinced, or have been in the past, that there are messages for me on the radio. I should stop listening to it really, but sometimes, when Im fairly sane like now,its just a delusional little thought and its sort of seductive, makes me feel less alone.

I have in the past thought that I was being watched and stalked, and when i was very ill, I thought I was posessed, I could almost feel something moving inside of me.EEK! lol

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You mean those four songs in sequence, especially when they added "Beast and Harlot" by Avenged Sevenfold to the mix the day after Cain came around, was just a coincidence??? They really DIDN'T KNOW I was stuck in traffic and it was March 2 of all days??? LOL.

Seriously though, I always get messages from songs, and when certain songs are on the radio and all of them are "significant" all in a row it's like "They" are communicating with me. LOL

I get the possession thing too. I actually kind of like it, which makes it hard for me to fight it. Also because when it happens it's like my own identity -- thoughts, feelings, choices, purposes, desires, sense of self, etc. -- is being completely overwritten with this other person that They can control easily, or something.

Weird stuff -- but I know how to "maintain" -- how to pass for normal -- most of the time. When it gets really intense and I can't fake human, I isolate so I don't get caught being crazy.

Tried some APs but they never did much for me. Geodon made me feel like I was on low-grade LSD all the time, but NOT in a good way. Abilify at any dose over 7.5 mg would give me the total creepycrawlies to where I was literally crawling in my skin and couldn't be still. There's a fancy $1.00 word for that but it eludes me right now ...