Chlorophyl,
What you can do is find a new T and have your T from school call him or send him your records with what you have gone over so far. You may want to meet a few of the T's until you find one comfortable enough to work with. But you don't have to go over your past right away, work on other things, the symptoms of the PTSD. Then if you like the T the other T can contact him/her and bring it up to speed and what you have been working on.

What you are describing right now are the symptoms of PTSD and you have to remind yourself that this is what you are dealing with and every day remind yourself that you are going to get stronger everyday and overcome it. That is what I do, one day at a time. No one around you is really going to understand it, that is why coming here is good as we know what the symptoms your talking about are. And we understand the struggle. But you do have to consciously tell yourself that you will get better. I have stated this before but consider this a part of grieving and that you will slowly come to terms with it.

I am very sorry that you had to experience this in your life. I understand how deeply troubling it can be and how alone it can feel some times. But you see? I understand it and so do others here, so when you have some difficult days just come and talk it out. Even if you have an angry moment and need to rant or vent it out here. Getting it out and letting yourself morn it is important, dont hold it in. But it will get easier as time passes.

Try to say to yourself, " I understand what has happened, I cannot change my past, I am learning how to accept it as a part of my past and move forward and continue to grow". When you have those moments where you feel overwhelmed with emotion go someplace quiet and just concentrate on the moment. Don't let it frighten you, just say " I am just in the moment of morning my past and I am going to just think about the moment and nothing else". And really take it moment by moment. I used PC alot to distract myself and I just came here and posted to others instead of having all my focus on myself.

The fact that you have been doing better lately is a good sign. You are beginning to feel relieved. Try not to fall into ruminating it over or feel like you have not gained. It will slowly come and you will have more and more days of feeling better. Feeling better is what comes after finally learning to slowly externalize it, it becomes a relief to your brain, and you can build on that to the point where it is not so trapped and confused inside of you. You are gaining.

Remember we are here to talk to and we understand.

Open Eyes