Ohhhhhhhhh suzzie. Dear, dear suzzie! I'm just piecing together the pieces of your puzzle! I wish I had recognized all of it sooner. You need all the love and support we can give you. I don't know what Monday will bring; not even what it's all about. But I'm wondering if this is a therapist you've been working with for awhile? Suzzie, if she is, (and even if she's not) try to believe that she will know what to say to help you the most. If you're right, suzzie, you know you'll be ok. If you're "incredibly wrong", trust that she will know how to cushion her response. Come to PC right away........there are those of us who know and love you to pieces. Let us try to help you through what ever it is you're dealing with. This pains me so much to see how you're suffering. PM me or sundog, or both of us so we can walk you through this. You matter so much, suzzie. Talk to us first. Hugs ((((((((sweetheart)))))))........and much love, grey