Dearest Phoenix.......I want so badly to help you. I just don't have the words; I don't know what to say. Maybe it would help to have someone curl up in that ball with you. I will (I need to)......until the hopeless feelings pass. You want to disappear, but you're reaching out for help and you've found it. We're here; all of us who love you. Borrow strength from us until you get through the difficult moments. This will pass.....you know things to do. You did the first by coming to PC. Stay in the ball if you need to, but just for a few minutes. Don't start it rolling because we won't let you go far. ((((((((Phoenix))))))))