I do agree that the times I've managed the blurt, as awful as it's been (because then I tend to whoosh away into the darkness in my head), it's been good, too. Because then it's OUT THERE. And I'm not holding it anymore. And T always, always, always responds just like I need him to.

T told me about the time he said the hardest thing he's ever said in therapy. He said that he finally just opened his mouth and said it - and it was REALLY hard. And I asked if it made it better or worse...and he said worse at first, and then better. That's been true for me too....but with each new thing, it's hard all over again.

Therapy is just hard, hard work. But really, SO worth it. Healing is such a gift. So hard-earned, but so good when we get it.