Thanks for the advice all! I agree with you both. @Leed, yes my bf has NOT always been like he is now, he has always been selfish just not in a mean way, more like a whiny emotional martyr-ish kind of way yet he`d always been super involved in my life and we`d do everything together. I stay with him because I truely love him yet I also have a pretty low self esteem and I`m so nervous around guys and I`ve never been confident enough to try to talk to guys who seem to be worthwhile and all the losers tend to be drawn to me which has been a pattern all my life not just in adulthood. I`ve heard that the way you feel about yourself literally shows and it will attract negativity to oneself and I can see that`s what`s been happening to me my whole life. At this point I`m recognizing it and hoping to reverse it. With my bf at least he is being productive and doing stuff with his life now which is what I always wanted for him. He had always been with me and I always wished he could branch out a little bit and I`d told him that over the years but he never did till last year but now that it has actually happened I guess its hard to deal with. That part is actually my problem and thats something I need to work on myself. I guess I feel depressed and disappointed that now that his mental health has been much more improved he`d be better company but he`s more busy now so I`m not getting that benefit. Which is what I realized since I wrote my initial post. And now I feel dumb because this is what I ultimately wanted but when I finally get it I feel bad because it didn`t happen in the balanced way that I expected it to. This is definately not my bf`s fault. I feel even dumber for not giving myself time to think and let my emotions clear up before complaining. But thanks for providing suggestions I think getting feedback here helps me to focus on what the problem really is. In this case at first I felt like it was my bf and now I`ve figured out that its me.