So, now that I've survived the last seven days, I can look back and say... I DID it

During this past week, a friendship ended in a very painful way, my son's little league career came to and end (after 11 very intense years!), I enrolled the same (homeschooled since kindergarten) son in high school, and I had to put my sweet, beloved kitty to sleep. SO many changes and transitions in one week, you know?

And last night I realized, I DID it. I never ran from my feelings. I never used a bad coping skill. I reached out for help from my friends and my H and T, and people reached out to me. I stepped back and did nothing when it felt like doing something would make the situation worse (like with my friend). I was able to show my children healthy ways to deal with big emotions. I kept sleeping, and eating, and exercising. I prayed, and I stayed open to all of the good things that were there in the middle of the hard things (like my 8 year old having an uncontrollable laughing fit when I took him out for ice cream the other night and SPEWING ice cream everywere! lolol).

AND i realized last night, that *this* is what I wanted when I started therapy. To just be able to be in my life. To be able to deal with things that come up. To be able to have and accept good feelings and bad feelings. To be able to see that the good and the bad can be all mixed in there together and it's okay. To be able to have an underlying sense of "okayness" even when life is sad or scary.

I don't know if i will stay in this place. But I've had this taste of it, and I know it's what I want, and I know it's possible for me, and that is the most amazing thing. 4 years ago, this week would never have gone this way.

Therapy really. does. work.