Thank you for your service. I would like to suggest to you that you take your wife to see the doctor and describe what she has been doing: excessive sleeping, physical tantrums, shaking and screaming, etc. Make sure the doctor knows about her history of abuse. I'm no doctor but it sounds to me like your wife has an emotional problem in addition to her not having fully matured as an adult. The behavior you are describing is more like a child than an adult. If her mother were working all the time, your wife maybe never got any role models for how to behave (although her mother is to be commended for working to support her family). If your wife is only 22 then I think it is understandable that she wants few responsibilities, and the way to fulfill that is not to give her a child. She isn't capable of taking care of a child with the behavior you describe. I think you are doing the best you can and should continue to model responsible behavior: continue going to school and working out. Hold firm with your wife; if you are to remain married, she must see the doctor and she must put forth effort to create a happy, stable marriage between the two of you. What you don't want is two or three unhappy children, an ex-wife who goes from bad to worse and diminished control of what happens to those children's welfare.