Well, at least by posting here you are trying to take an interest in yourself and find ways to get motivated. And you are admitting your faults as well, and did you notice I admitted mine too? And if you look around at the different forums there are many others that are questioning themselves in one way the other. Even those that are in college and they feel empty and confused.

So what that is really saying is that perhaps you are not so far behind as you may think. And don't forget as everyone else here is, you are unique, but also human with emotions and fears just like everyone else here, and that includes me.

There were plenty of times when I felt as though I may be too pessimistic or even passive. But I did got to that low end of the pool and waded in. And I realized that I was more capable than I realized.

And you don't have to grade yourself so harshly. Oh we can be so hard on ourselves and give up so easily. And looking at others as a kind of barometer is normal as well and even the lowest of primates do that. But you are not going to really be in anyone else you see, because you are unique and you are going to be you. You are only 22 and that is still very young. And it is not unusual for someone your age to question a direction and even feel hopeless or disappointed. Have you actually been reading the forums?

Now, you can still go back to school you know and continue your education. The way you write here does not speak of a bumbling idiot. You just havent give yourself a chance to find your own core. And that takes time to develope, and dear, you have to get those feet wet in order to figure it out. And yes, you have to stop self critisizing and get into gear. Most young men have self critical thoughts, even those that seem to have the education and the job. Every single person you meet has self doubt somewhere. You do not have an exclusive on that emotion, believe me.

Someone who cleans up in a restaurant or does some meanial job is not always a meanial person. It can be a beginning to something else, it is just the shallow end of the pool. People are not as hard as you think, the more you are around them the more you will realize it. That is something I have learned a lot about. I have been around all different kinds of people and they all lacked something and I finally realized, what the heck was I so worried about, they are just like me.

So give yourself a chance and consider putting the effort into overcoming your own obstacles, that you put infront of yourself and work on getting your feet wet.

I know you can do it. Geez, your just 22 and what I didn't know at that age, No, I had to get my feet wet and I tried lots of different things. Although I was a terrible waitress I was a good bartender though.

Hey are there any local riding stables near you? I was thinking about you this morning as I never have time to keep up with the horses anymore. There are plenty of stables that need help and it doesn't take a genious to figure out how to clean up after horses. Oh and there are usually plenty of girls around to listen to. And guess what, many of them are animal lovers and that can make them very humble.

Open Eyes