Kaliope,
Thank you sooooooooooo much for your post.. I can sit and read this and think "of course" there are good thing about me... right now I just cant seem to " believe" them.. I know its going to take alot of work on my part to be able to STOP beating myself up and focusing on the negative.. For months and months I felt like a complete burden to everyone around me.. My T and I worked on that and now I no longer feel like a burden , well I have my moments but I for the most part no longer feel like a burden. Today my biggest problem is i have eaten everything that doesnt move thanks to damn Seraquel... Its horrible .. I have gained 15 lbs and I feel HUGE ,, I have issues with anorexia so the weight gain is a HUGE deal .. I know most all mood stabalizers have an increase in weight issue. Whats hard for me is I have Severe Fibromyalgia so i cant just increase exercise to deal with the increased weight . So i sit here thinking is it better to go off the meds and deal with my brain racing a million miles an hour or just learn to live with the constant hunger and constant eating.. My T is aware of my issues with the medication .. I told him I would give it another week or so and see if the food issue calms down. I also have a Self harm issue and im worried the increased weight is going to trigger a round of that..

I have alot of issues and im fighting all of them so thats theone positive thing I can say and believe about me today " Im fighting all my demons "

Wishing you some Peace