had many rock bottom points also. second-last point, I knew i was dying, was under 90lbs, OD'ed 3 times in previous month, forgot my name, was hallucinating constantly. somehow, still not sure how, I moved state. left everything behind (again) and started (again) without the drugs. last point 2yrs later, husband-to-be said he couldn't take anymore. it was drink or him. I chose him. 9 yrs and 3 kids later, I wonder sometimes if he wished he'd walked out the door that day. He has always known i was ill, sometimes i drag my family down my rabbit hole. still struggle w urges against sobriety but have external support from programs, T's etc to hold up. still get the urge to leave and start again.