IMHO, it is really simple... invest in someone who is primarily and genuinely a "we" or "us" person... NOT an "I" or "me" person. We can take "escaped convicts" off the table to begin with. Nobody is a "loser" or a terrible person. They just behave that way as a defense mechanism to keep from feeling "less than". They were made to feel "less than" as a child and now they must control those feelings by any means possible... with toxic, controlling, abusive behavior. Think of your worst fear... maybe heights. No one could drag you to the edge of a tall building or even near a roller coaster. Well, you cannot drag these people to face their phobia which is just as, if not more scary to them. It is our responsibility to find a healthy partner who will treat us well. We only remain a victim if we choose to.