greenfairy....
first dont resign yourself to be defeated....
you are giving up on yourself.
abusive men are LOSERS and can never truly win.
thier victory at causing you pain is short lived for them.
they are no better off for treating you bad...
so HE DID NOT WIN.
it is so discouraging that you have lost hope and your strength to pick yourself up seems barely there.but its obviously there, inside you... waiting, resting, gathering the strength.... that internal force we all possess....
that cant be killed, only weakend. you have to nurture it so it can survive.
so look at yourself in the mirror, if that action makes you cry, then wipe the tears off your cheek.... put your hands on your cheeks and feel the warmth.... the warmth radiating through you from that force inside burning....
just ask yourself ALOUD how long you must continue to suffer...
find strength somewhere, like a bird who searches for a worm... you search inside until you find it !
dont waste away.... you are far too special and important in this world.

if you dont mind religious reference... read this. its a poem (psalm) that has enabled me many times to drag my half cold body from the depths of depression.
Psalm 13