thanks for both of you for your input. i do have to just erase that guy from my mind but i never know how to do that when it comes to men i let them get under my skin sometimes even if it was just two dates and i let it consume me and my thoughts. he emailed me back after i told him everything he did wrong on the date and was in agreement that we wouldn't work. he was supposed to make me dinner at his place this week though before i sent out that email. he was so nice about it that now i am wondering if i did the right now. i rarely trust my own feelings. i don't have a strong enough internal self. i don't know how to let stuff with men go. i like to put myself in places where i will be rejected. b/c i am used to that sort of treatment that i got from my own parents growing up. i do need a therapist. how do i find out about these clinics that are inexpensive? do i look online under mental health clinics inexpensive - sliding fees. how do i get ths guy out of my head? i just wrote back to him and said how can you be so nice after the things i said and asked him if he understood why i said them. i am a mess. i am tired of obsessing over men.