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LMo said:
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LMO- how do you handle your friends who it bothers? Do you find it difficult?

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Well, it's not like I'm filthy rich or anything like that... and I've made some mistakes and gotten myself into bad dynamics with friends who I "treated" to meals out a few times after they had complained about money woes, and then it turned into an expectation on their part that I should always pay because they are poor and I'm not. I would say that was the number one biggest problem. I say "was", because it's one of the things I worked through with T; I simply don't schedule meals at restaurants with those friends anymore, except on birthdays and things like that. I try to find activities that don't cost anything, like going for hikes, or potlucks, or watching movies instead of going out. That kind of thing. But it also helps to be sincere and unapologetic rather than pretend that the difference isn't there. It seems that for the friends who are already self-conscious about their financial situation, glossing over my own situation pisses them off.

So to reverse the question, what would help YOU in situations where you find it difficult to be around friends who don't have to worry about money?

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I was having a hard time phrasing my question so I did it in such a general way. But my problem is actually similar to yours, I have got myself into situations where people expect from me, and over time they don't really appear to appreciate it, just expect. One of my friends never makes a move when the bill comes until it is clear that I am only paying my half. You have some good suggestions to how to cope with this; avoiding situations that put me in that situation. I also agree with what you said about trying not to act like there isn't a difference. Recently I was told by someone that some find me extravagant and at times it is difficult to watch. I wanted to hear what others thought of that. All the responses helped me to understand how I might be coming across to people. Was talking to your T helpful? I should do that. I've been feeling guilty about the way I live, and I hate that I have to feel that way when I know that I do what I can to help others.