My Mom told me the other day how far I had come in my treatment...I screamed, Mom I feel worse than those days I got kicked out of college..I feel worse!! She never listens when I try to say what my true feelings are. I have the capability of coming across fine when actually I am quite hurting inside. Yet, I have been able to see what my Mom was talking about, perhaps if I can hold it in and realize the situation isn't quite as bleak as it once was, perhaps the more I keep acting it's all o.k. perhaps I will slowly start to feel it, too.