Obviously something in you has changed (rather than the situations, as you point out). I would try to pinpoint when it changed and as a result of what? When did you start feeling which particular person (somebody had to be first, try to stay away from the "everyone" all/nothing perspective) was disingenuous? What was the event that started the ball rolling? Have you been to a party/family gathering or met new members of your or your boyfriend's family that you didn't like how they acted but originally did your thing with hugging, etc.? Did someone criticize your hugging them or rebuff a hug or indicate they didn't like receiving it? Did you have a conversation with someone who had different views from yours and made you feel bad?