It sounds like you are confused about whether you want to be with your ex or current boyfriend. Only you can decide that and make it work/happen. If you are sabotaging yourself by talking with your ex- you can't keep the current boyfriend thing going. However, if you did not like how your ex- treated you and broke up because of that, he's probably not changed and will probably mistreat you again. But, if he's your "ideal guy" you want to be with, I would apologize to the current boyfriend for stringing him along and go back to the ex. If you know the ex being "ideal" is just your wishful thinking, I'd work harder at cutting off communications with the ex.